The Importance of Family Dinner for Children

In a study conducted by a professor of education at Harvard's Graduate School, it was concluded, that family dinners offered opportunities for children to learn vocabulary building words that will help them read well by the third grade. There are so many benefits to the family dinner, not just eating together. Another benefit is the feeling of belonging to the family. When the family is scattered with after school activities and everyone eats "on the run" then the coming together gets put on the sidelines and the closeness of the family unit can suffer.

At least 4 nights a week, including the weekend, is a good start to try to get together for meals. This is a great time for children to talk about their day; their triumphs or their fears. Listening to each other is another skill that is learned. No interrupting or certainly teasing should not be tolerated during the family meal time.

If this time feels awkward in the beginning think of a few topics to bring up during dinner. This could be dreams during the night, plans for a family vacation or a movie that can be watched as a family. Children love to feel safe and feel a part of a family, no matter how young.

5 Tips for Pleasant Dinner Time with 3 Years Old

Three years old can start learning table manners, but they have to be practiced daily.

1. Little ones can learn what foods can be eaten with fingers and what foods should be eaten with a fork or spoon.

2. Wait until everyone is served before starting to eat.

3. Don't talk if you have some food in your mouth.

4. Use a napkin and place it on your lap.

5. Close your mouth while chewing.

This is a good start to pleasant dining at home, school or at a restaurant.

It's Always Time for Manners!

Better Manners at Holiday Buffets

In our home, the elders or grandparents are the honored guests to go first in a buffet line. Why do some families allow children to dig in and mess up a beautifully prepared buffet? Grandmas and Grandpas go first, followed by moms and children that need help, followed by the hungry men of the family.

Children need to learn restraint and respect for the older family members. It's the right thing to do.

If a grace or blessing is said before the meal is eaten then it is a good idea to stand by your chair and say the blessing and then start the buffet. That way everyone is together for the blessing of the food.

The etiquette for when to begin eating at a buffet is that when three people are at the table everyone can begin to enjoy their meal.

Again, it is so helpful for children to know what is expected of them before a family holiday meal. They are more comfortable in the situation and the parents can enjoy a relaxing time knowing the children are doing the right thing.

Family meals are a very important time and should be a special, stress-free event.

Happy Holidays and remember, It's Always Time for Manners.

Graciously Accepting Gifts, Gadgets, and Games

The holiday time is a wonderful time of the year for teaching life lessons on accepting gifts from family and friends. Young children are always eager to do the right thing and in doing the right thing the kids will feel confident in social situations.

Receiving gifts from friends and family members should always be received with a clear, spoken thank you. I see children that grab gifts and tear them open without accepting with a polite thank you. This can be practiced with small children at home before attending a gathering where gifts are exchanged. I always told my children that if someone took the time to shop and wrap a gift then they could take the time to write a note of thanks for the gift too.

Grandparents especially want to know that their thoughtfulness is appreciated and properly acknowledged.

Another job for parents is coaching children on what to do if the child already has the gift or they don't like the gift. Again practice at home so children know the right thing to do.

Teach children to say thank you with a smile and explain to children before hand that the gift can be exchanged and they should be grateful for the gift and express thanks. Whether the present is a gift, gadget or game say THANK YOU.

Happy Holidays and remember, "It's Always Time for Manners"

Mr. and Mrs. Still Sounds Right

I always taught our three sons to address our friends by Mr. and Mrs. The title shows respect and good manners. Is this old fashioned or is it still proper to do?

I feel it is one way to teach our children respect in a world where children, as well as teens, are failing to be taught respect for authority, teachers, and adults. By addressing an adult with Mr. or Mrs. the title puts just the right distance between a child and adult. I think it is a big mistake for children to call their teachers by their first names. Yes, there are schools that promote familiarity and "we're all equal" feeling but the teacher is the authority in the classroom and should be held in high regard and addressed properly.

As a grown woman I still wouldn't think of calling my parents friends by their first name. I was taught respect at a young age and because of that, my parents knew their teachings would last a lifetime.

What do you think?

Twelve year olds Tell the Truth!

I have a friend in Florida who has a two year old girl and twelve year old boy. I gave her a Table Time video from the Time for Manners series to give to her two year old. I wondered for a few weeks how the video was liked and if the two year old watched the full 30 minute DVD. The video does have a lot of original songs and music, funny characters, and cute family dog that gets into mischief in the story. My research shows that the videos are appropriate for two to seven year olds.

I recently saw the mother again and she thanked me and reported that her son, the twelve year old, watched the entire video and announced, "Good video Mom". She said he was sitting up tall at the table and reminding the rest of the family of the lesson he had learned in Table Time.

The Time for Manners creative team was very pleased that at any age, people want to learn the correct way to behave and the proper way to dine. Whether your meals are at home, in a restaurant or at a fast food restaurant the same good manners apply.

Remember what Merlin Manners says: "Its Always Time for Manners".

Oh, Those Dirty Napkins!!!!

There are so many rules of etiquette to learn. We all know to put your napkin on your lap while you are eating. The most important use of the napkin is to keep the mouth clean of food while enjoying friends and family during a meal. The napkin should be placed on the lap with still one fold or think of it as a 1/2 napkin. We never open a napkin fully while placing it on the lap.

Now the tricky part of the use of napkins. During the meal if you have to get up for any reason you place the napkin on your chair so that you are not putting a soiled napkin on the table while others are eating. People ask me about putting a soiled napkin on a nice fabric chair. If a person is eating carefully and using the napkin occasionally then the napkin won't have a lot of "mess" on the cloth. If by chance the napkin is very soiled then it should be folded in such a way as to not let any food touch a fabric chair.

Meal time should be a happy and enjoyable time with good friends or family. Manners take practice and it can be made fun when the family works together.

Merlin Manners always says, "Its Always Time for Manners".