Better Manners at Holiday Buffets

In our home, the elders or grandparents are the honored guests to go first in a buffet line. Why do some families allow children to dig in and mess up a beautifully prepared buffet? Grandmas and Grandpas go first, followed by moms and children that need help, followed by the hungry men of the family.

Children need to learn restraint and respect for the older family members. It's the right thing to do.

If a grace or blessing is said before the meal is eaten then it is a good idea to stand by your chair and say the blessing and then start the buffet. That way everyone is together for the blessing of the food.

The etiquette for when to begin eating at a buffet is that when three people are at the table everyone can begin to enjoy their meal.

Again, it is so helpful for children to know what is expected of them before a family holiday meal. They are more comfortable in the situation and the parents can enjoy a relaxing time knowing the children are doing the right thing.

Family meals are a very important time and should be a special, stress-free event.

Happy Holidays and remember, It's Always Time for Manners.

Graciously Accepting Gifts, Gadgets, and Games

The holiday time is a wonderful time of the year for teaching life lessons on accepting gifts from family and friends. Young children are always eager to do the right thing and in doing the right thing the kids will feel confident in social situations.

Receiving gifts from friends and family members should always be received with a clear, spoken thank you. I see children that grab gifts and tear them open without accepting with a polite thank you. This can be practiced with small children at home before attending a gathering where gifts are exchanged. I always told my children that if someone took the time to shop and wrap a gift then they could take the time to write a note of thanks for the gift too.

Grandparents especially want to know that their thoughtfulness is appreciated and properly acknowledged.

Another job for parents is coaching children on what to do if the child already has the gift or they don't like the gift. Again practice at home so children know the right thing to do.

Teach children to say thank you with a smile and explain to children before hand that the gift can be exchanged and they should be grateful for the gift and express thanks. Whether the present is a gift, gadget or game say THANK YOU.

Happy Holidays and remember, "It's Always Time for Manners"

Mr. and Mrs. Still Sounds Right

I always taught our three sons to address our friends by Mr. and Mrs. The title shows respect and good manners. Is this old fashioned or is it still proper to do?

I feel it is one way to teach our children respect in a world where children, as well as teens, are failing to be taught respect for authority, teachers, and adults. By addressing an adult with Mr. or Mrs. the title puts just the right distance between a child and adult. I think it is a big mistake for children to call their teachers by their first names. Yes, there are schools that promote familiarity and "we're all equal" feeling but the teacher is the authority in the classroom and should be held in high regard and addressed properly.

As a grown woman I still wouldn't think of calling my parents friends by their first name. I was taught respect at a young age and because of that, my parents knew their teachings would last a lifetime.

What do you think?

Twelve year olds Tell the Truth!

I have a friend in Florida who has a two year old girl and twelve year old boy. I gave her a Table Time video from the Time for Manners series to give to her two year old. I wondered for a few weeks how the video was liked and if the two year old watched the full 30 minute DVD. The video does have a lot of original songs and music, funny characters, and cute family dog that gets into mischief in the story. My research shows that the videos are appropriate for two to seven year olds.

I recently saw the mother again and she thanked me and reported that her son, the twelve year old, watched the entire video and announced, "Good video Mom". She said he was sitting up tall at the table and reminding the rest of the family of the lesson he had learned in Table Time.

The Time for Manners creative team was very pleased that at any age, people want to learn the correct way to behave and the proper way to dine. Whether your meals are at home, in a restaurant or at a fast food restaurant the same good manners apply.

Remember what Merlin Manners says: "Its Always Time for Manners".

Oh, Those Dirty Napkins!!!!

There are so many rules of etiquette to learn. We all know to put your napkin on your lap while you are eating. The most important use of the napkin is to keep the mouth clean of food while enjoying friends and family during a meal. The napkin should be placed on the lap with still one fold or think of it as a 1/2 napkin. We never open a napkin fully while placing it on the lap.

Now the tricky part of the use of napkins. During the meal if you have to get up for any reason you place the napkin on your chair so that you are not putting a soiled napkin on the table while others are eating. People ask me about putting a soiled napkin on a nice fabric chair. If a person is eating carefully and using the napkin occasionally then the napkin won't have a lot of "mess" on the cloth. If by chance the napkin is very soiled then it should be folded in such a way as to not let any food touch a fabric chair.

Meal time should be a happy and enjoyable time with good friends or family. Manners take practice and it can be made fun when the family works together.

Merlin Manners always says, "Its Always Time for Manners".

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO EAT SOUP?

When I teach children how to eat soup the proper way they always remember this little poem:

"Out to Sea and Back to Me"

We start with the proper table setting and with our napkin on our lap. While holding the soup spoon in the proper way, gently tilt the bowl away from yourself and then place the spoon's edge (not the tip) into the soup with a movement of down, out and up to the lips. As we do that movement in class we say together,"Out to Sea and Back to Me". The waves of the sea move outward. Never do you put the tip of the spoon into the mouth, and only sip on the side of the spoon. When finished, the soup spoon can be left in the bowl or placed on the plate under the bowl.

Children learn that concept quickly and I am told, the children always remember the saying, "Out to Sea and Back to Me".

Manners take practice and before you know it......good manners will last a lifetime.

Merlin Manners says: "Its Always Time for Manners"

Bread Plate and Glass - An Easy Way to Remember

So many times the question comes up at a lunch or dinner party....."which plate is mine?" Most people are referring to the bread and butter plate. That small plate causes so much trouble. The easiest way to remember is the bread and butter plate is always on your left AND your left index finger and thumb forms a letter b (lower case). The right hand forms the letter d referring to drink. So the left side of the place setting has the b (bread and butter) and the right side has the d (drink).

When someone seated next to you is using the wrong plate, there is no need to say anything to that person, just place your bread on you own entree plate. There is no need to embarrass your partner at the table by mentioning their mistake.

Always remember to place all four fingers and thumb on the glass when drinking. Take small sips with the lips near closed and replace the glass to the place setting. Don't have the little fingers up in the air when holding a glass.

Children need a lot of help with suggestions from parents or older people about drinking from a glass. Remind the children to hold the glass properly and securely and to keep their mouth almost closed while drinking from the glass. Make sure to remind children to swallow all the food in their mouth before taking a drink from the glass or cup.

Meals with friends and family are very important and we must remember that: It's always Time for Manners.

Merlin Manners and Three Year Olds

Time for Manners LLC has been told many times how the very young children love Merlin Manners. He is our main character in the Time for Manners video series. He was developed by B.K. Taylor, a well known artist in the Detroit area. We wanted a fun-looking character with personality to match. Since it is "Always Time for Manners" we decided he should be part clock, part lovable and part just funny-looking. B.K. also became the voice to Merlin in all three videos. Even now when I phone B.K. I get a smile on my face because at times I feel I'm speaking to Merlin!! Merlin is happy and always teaching manners in a way that is fun so that children don't even know they are learning important lessons in life.

I think teaching children life's lesson early on in life help to instill the messages that can, if re-enforced, last a lifetime.

Remember what Merlin Manners says: It's Always Time for Manners!

School Bus Safety for Kids

Time for Manners has a video called American Manners that addresses school bus safety along with other topics. The characters, Tara and Tyler ride the bus every day to school. They know that they should be polite and stay in their seat. They also made up a song in the video called Bottom to Bottom and Back to Back. That means, keep your bottom on the seat and your back against the seat back in order to stay safe and secure.

Tara, Tyler and their friend Wesley also talk about keeping the aisle clear of school bags or sports equipment. They know that the driver has an important job and he must be free of distractions in order to drive safely.

I always thought that a school bus should have a volunteer parent on each bus to keep order and help out the driver.

I can remember going to school on a bus and all the "big kids" went to the back of the bus and that is usually where all the trouble began. Maybe the older kids should be in the front of the bus and set a good example for the younger kids as they go to their seats.

Back to school should be fun and exciting. Let's keep our children safe on the school bus.

Nice and Neat in Restaurants

Any child can be taught to eat neatly in a restaurant, but they must be taught. Moms could bring a bib and the child's own dish and cup. This way there is a familiarity that makes children feel comfortable. I never like to see children eat off a tray without a proper bowl or dish. Children will learn to keep food on the tray more easily and not let it drop all over the floor when they are familiar with the dish ware. I know I don't like eating my meal next to children at a restaurant that have made a mess of the floor and the food is spread all over the table or tray.

Children as young as 3 can use small utensils and be praised for eating like a "big person". It is always hard for kids to use the restaurant's utensils so bringing a baggie with the child's own spoon or fork can make for a much nicer meal. Children want to learn the proper way to eat and to begin teaching children at a young age can only instill the action that will become second nature.

Proper use of the napkin is essential and can help with keeping clean while eating the meal.

Children learn by example and if everyone in the family cooperates with practicing good dining habits then everyone will have a wonderful family dining experience.

5 tips for Mannerly Children at McDonalds

Yes, it is "Always Time for Manners". That's what Merlin Manners says on the Time for Manners videos. Even at McDonalds, children can be taught to behave and eat with respect for others.

Here are 5 helpful tips for families and friends:

1. While standing in line, decide what everyone would like to eat so that others won't have to wait behind you in line. Let's be prompt and polite.

2. Always eat on the paper or on the tray in case the table has not been cleaned properly.

3. The rule for eating a hamburger or sandwich is that if it is too big to hold in one hand then it should be cut in half. Only little animals eat with two hands!!

4. We all love the french fries with catsup but the catsup should be put on the paper and the fries dipped into the catsup. Never, squirted all over the mound of french fries and then eaten.

5. Clean off the table of all paper, cups and food so the next family will enjoy their meal too.

If it is necessary to eat fast food then make sure that manners aren't forgotten and your family will have a good time together, that is the most important part of the mealtime.

3 Secrets for Happy Family Dinners

1. Make sure to always set a table so children know that special family time is important.

It's easy to eat in front of the TV or "grab" some food whenever kids are hungry but the only way to encourage family unity is to sit down together and share a meal.

2. Have each family member tell the family the best thing that happened to them that day.

Keeping the conversation positive will make for a pleasant evening meal and allow the children to learn to be grateful for their day.

3. Parents should use their best dining manners everyday.

Children learn by example and learning from their parents will be the most beneficial way to teach family members good manners.

Remember: It's Always Time for Manners

Thank you notes for Toddlers To Teens

When a friend or relative spends time searching and buying a gift for a child or adult they deserve a thank you note. Writing a note takes a lot less time than the effort to go out to find a gift. I received a drawing from a little one recently when I had purchased a gift for them and it was so cute and appreciated. The child's gesture, taught by the mother, teaches them that is it proper to be thankful and gracious when someone gives them a gift.

I hear complaints all the time from grandparents that they never know if a grandchild received the gift or if it was enjoyed.

It is a lot easier to get a child to write a short note or do a drawing than it is a teenager. But all it take is encouragement and consistency with all ages.

Remember: Mind Your Manners!

Holly Beth

Five Fun Facts about The Flag

It's almost 4th of July and here are Five Facts to remember about the American Flag.

1. The area where the stars are placed is called the UNION.

2. The red and white strips are called the FLY.

3. The pole that the flag is on is called the STAFF.

4. When in distress, fly the flag upside down.

5. The flag is folded in a triangle when it is stored or presented to someone. This fold represents the tricorn hats worn by Colonial soldiers in the Revolutionary War.

Have a safe and fun Fourth of July with friends and family.

Let the Flag Fly Free

4th of July is almost here and have you checked your flag to see if it is in good condition? Here are 5 things to remember when flying the American Flag.

1. Display the flag from sunrise to sunset. At night, it should be illuminated.

2. Don't let the flag touch the ground.

3. Never tie it down or hold it in place, the flag should be free.

4. Never fly the flag in inclement weather.

5. Make sure the flag is not tattered or torn.

If your flag must be replaced then dispose of it in a respectful way. A flag should be folded properly and buried or taken to a American Legion Post so they can dispose of it in a dignified ceremony.

Children enjoy learning about the history and proper etiquette of the American Flag. Discussions with the family about respecting the flag is all part of good manners.

A Gentle Hand Tells the Story

My daughter-in-law uses this unique technique with our granddaughter. When the mom is talking to other people and my granddaughter wants to say something or needs her mom's attention she gently places her hand on her mother's hand as a signal that she would like to ask a question or needs some attention. The gesture does not interrupt a conversation but only lets the mom know that she needs to say, "please excuse me" while she attends to her daughter.

So many times children can be rude by breaking into conversations and causing a scene. Isn't this a nice way to teach children to consider others? Good manners are always appreciated and needed in our society. Children feel good when they know the right thing to do.

Table Time Dinnerware Set

We love our Time for Manners Dinnerware Set for toddlers and young children. There is an educational place mat that teaches kids where to place the dish, napkin, glass,fork, knife and spoon. The plastic ware is high quality, safe and very colorful. The image of Merlin Manners is on each piece of the dinnerware set. The utensils have indents for little fingers to train them to hold the utensils properly. We also included a 30 minute video, Table Time, to show the children how to use the dinnerware set.

One mom told me that her 4 year old son calls the dinnerware set his "good china" and wants to use it at each meal. Please visit the Time for Manners site to learn more about training your little one to eat their meal more easily and as well as the older siblings of the family.

School Bus Safety

This morning I awoke to an awful news story on the television. A young girl was riding the school bus in Detroit and she stuck her head out the window to talk to a friend. Just when the bus started to move her head was struck by a tree branch and she was killed.

I often wonder why there are never parent volunteers or guards on a school bus. The only person to keep order is the bus driver and he/she has plenty to concentrate on while driving the bus. Children get up and change seats, bully other kids, leave their bags all over the floor and aisles of the bus and they can be just plain rowdy. It seems to me that either responsible high school kids could be assigned a bus to ride for community service or parents could rotate a schedule to protect our children.

Time for Manners, Vol.3, "American Manners", addresses this issue of school bus safety in a fun and creative style. The kids in the DVD sing an original song called "Back to Back and Bottom to Bottom". The song reminds kids to keep their bottom on the bottom of the seat and their back to the back of the seat, meaning to stay seated at all times. There are other important safety reminders in the DVD too.

I have thought of this tragic story all day and I would hope there will be some changes made in school bus rules and behavior. As always, Mind your Manners!!

Napkins are Nice

I keep some cloth napkins, that don't need to ironed, in a stack in my drawers so we can use them at mealtime. It just adds to the importance of a meal and at the same time teaches children to use a napkin the right way. Paper napkins always slide off the lap and get crumpled so quickly. A cloth napkin helps to keep a child's clothes clean, trains them to keep their mouth tidy and even helps them to sit still at the table. A cloth napkin will fall on the floor with too much squirming at the table. The napkin is only opened half-way, never opened so it is like a mini table cloth on the lap!

Never place a dirty napkin back on the table while people are still eating. If you need to be excused for a short time, the napkin is placed with the dirty side folded inward on to the chair. At the end of the meal and everyone leaves the table, the napkin can be placed on the table in a neat fold. Practice at home and soon the action will become like second nature. Mind your Manners!

Hats off for You!!

Many times I see boys, young men and mature men come into a restaurant and they don't take off their hat. Most have the baseball hat on but I've seen some older guys with the fashionable fedora hat on their head and they neglect to take it off too.

All hats must come off in a restaurant to show good manners. Whether it is a diner, fast food or family restaurant all hats on men should be removed. The rule is mostly tradition but it is a custom that has been important for many years.

Teach children at home to prepare for mealtime by taking off their hat and combing their hair. Most everyone remembers to wash their hands but coming to the table prepared will show respect for the person that has cooked the meal. A nice appearance at mealtime teaches children that a family meal is important and they should prepare for the time together.

Small Gestures Add Up

Teaching children to hold the door for someone, pull out a chair for a friend, or let someone else go first all add up to making a child a polite person. Our 3 young sons always rushed to hold my chair when we went out to a restaurant. They learned by example from their father. It is a very kind and respectful gesture that, if practiced, will become second nature that they will use their lifetime.

It is so easy to teach kids to hold a door for a woman, mother, grandmother or even their friend. Teach to always cross behind the person so that they can easily reach the door without having to push in front of the person they are helping. Grandmothers are especially grateful and proud of children that have good manners.

Be sure to practice even at home so that the small gestures will add up to making thoughtful young people.

Conversation at the dinner table can be creative

Dinner time is very important to families. It is a time to reconnect and share the days trials and triumphs. The family dinner table is always a good place to practice learning how to be comfortable with conversation at the table.

Conversation helps with the pace of the dinner too. So many times, I hear about families that rush to eat and the dinner is over. One suggestion is that one person thinks up a topic and each member of the family adds an idea or comment. It could be about sports, TV shows, a new friend, a book or a current event. In the beginning it may feel awkward but with practice. the conversation will flow and everyone will benefit from the closeness conversation can create.

Remember to Mind your Manners at the table!!!

Holly Beth Moncher

Don't grip that glass!

Children as well as adults should learn how to properly drink from a cup or glass. Never put the entire hand around a glass and then drink.

The glass should be held in the fingers with all four fingers and thumb firmly on the glass.

Sit tall and lift the glass to the mouth, never bend over with the head down. Lips are placed on the edge of the glass and a small sip is taken.

The same drinking manners work for small kids, teens and adults. Also remember, no slurping or drinking with food in the mouth.

Toddlers and preschoolers should practice the same way as older children. It will become "second nature" and remembered always.

Good table manners need to be practiced daily whether at home, school or in a restaurant. Mom and Dads....be consistent!

Forks can be friendly too.

I wish moms and dads would be consistent in encouraging children to use their utensils the proper way.

If children can feed themselves then they can hold their fork or spoon the traditional way.

The shovel method is awkward and only lets children eat too fast and with too much food on the fork/spoon.

Children learn to hold crayons the right way early in life so you know they can learn to properly hold their dining utensil. Mom and dad need to make sure they set a good example at the table and don't get lazy with their habits.

Children learn by example and parents can really help in teaching good table manners.

May I please speak to ....?

Telephone manners are so important and should be taught as soon as the parent decides to let the child answer the telephone.

Never say, " Jone's residence" because you are giving too much information to someone that you don't know that is calling.

When children answer the telephone have them just say,"Hello". Remember to add, "just a minute please" when the caller has asked for someone.

Keep it simple, safe, and polite.

It's fun to give a Happy Handshake

Stand up tall and look the person in the eye and don't forget the smile on your face.

Offer the right hand and with a firm handshake move the hands up and down in a slow comfortable way.

No finger shakes or "weak-fish" handshakes are allowed. Girls and women should follow the same procedure, be sure to fit the whole hand in the other persons hand.

Just say, "hello" or "I'm pleased to meet you" and really mean it.

There you are.....A Happy Handshake!!!